Am I the only one who is exhausted?
I love my kids, sometimes they make me laugh, sometimes I am super-proud, other times I am an emotional wreck, but happy; all because of the things that they do or say. I report all of this stuff on their personal blogs which only family and close friends see. But what I don’t tend to report over on their personal blogs is the less positive side of being a Dad, that’s what this place is for (as well as the good stuff about being a Dad of course, just look at any of my earlier posts).
Today, I was just wanted to talk about how very, very, tired, nay exhausted, I feel all the time (by the way, this includes my Wife, she feels this way too). It isn’t just today either. It has been going on for many months now, so long that I am not sure at all when the tiredness began. Actually, if I were to think about it carefully enough, it began soon after my Daughter was born over 4 years ago, when the sleepless nights started.
Yes, that’s it! It started with those nights where you are woken up every two hours to feed your new baby or change their nappy (which you do with your eyes still closed). I honestly don’t think I have ever caught up on my sleep since then. Every night it is a real struggle to stay awake until about 10:30 p.m.
I have a lovely mid-range mountain bike sat gathering dust; I have unfinished iMovie projects on various hard drives; I have hundreds of photos that need processing in Lightroom and tens more that need keywording, editing and uploading to Flickr from iPhoto; as well as nearly 1000 unread news items in my RSS feed reader, not to mention hours and hours of Twitter stream to catch up on (you know, just in case I missed something really important). Yet, I haven’t got the energy to even start on these tasks, let alone finish any of them.
That is precisely why this is the first post here for several months, it was the start of Spring (well, April) the last time I posted, and it is the middle of Summer now!
And then there is everyday life that requires some attention too. You know, spending time with the Kids, eating, drinking, going to work…
I think there is a cumulative effect of many years of disturbed and reduced sleep patterns. This has all built up to make me feel like I do now.
And, of course, I feel guilty. Partly for neglecting things, but most of all for not enjoying the early years of Fatherhood, and my Childrens’ lives so far, as much as everyone tells me I should be.
Is it just me? Do other Parents, or for that matter does anyone else, feel the same way?
Comments very welcome!
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